


May your battles turn into blessings

by Tchell1



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Has Issues (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, aziraphale loves him anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22282777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchell1/pseuds/Tchell1
Summary: "Please, oh, please, I know you probably don’t want to hear from me, but don’t let me tempt him." Crowley fervently prayed to the being that had cast him away. "Please, let Aziraphale keep being as amazing as he is. I don’t want to ruin him as well."
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80





	May your battles turn into blessings

Most of the time, Crowley accepts who he is. He accepts his deceiving nature and his abrasive behavior as part of being a demon. He shoulders all humanities’ sins on his back and does not shy away from clamming he was the one responsible for the first temptation.

(He had no way to know what consequences his action would have, but he would never, ever, not take responsibility. He would change the story, he would tell it as if it was his greatest achievement, even though what really happened was very different. There were only three beings who knew how shocked Crowley had been with the All-Mighty’s decision.)

In any case, Crowley knew he was a demon. Since his fall and his re-forging, he had the understanding of what he was capable of. It was almost like what he remembered from being an angel, except in the other direction. And since Aziraphale had looked at him with those amazingly kind blue eyes Crowley started questioning if he could maybe not follow his nature and not tempt the angel.

Aziraphale had taken him by surprise, looking and behaving as if Crowley had not literally crawled from the bottom of Earth and dared to look up. Aziraphale had listened to Crowley's confused thoughts, had smiled back at him and had, carelessly covered Crowley from the storm Crowley himself was responsible for. Crowley was fascinated and so, so happy.

_Please, oh, please, I know you probably don’t want to hear from me, but don’t let me tempt him._ Crowley fervently prayed to the being that had cast him away. _Please, let him keep being as amazing as he is. I don’t want to ruin him as well._

___ ***___

Never, even in his wildest fantasies, Crowley would have imagined he would spend six thousand years beside Aziraphale. Crowley had imagined the angel would get tired of him really quick, but, wonders of wonders, Aziraphale kept coming back to him. They had bumped into each other so often that Crowley could not imagine anymore an Earth that did not have an Aziraphale on it.

Crowley adjusted. His will in not temping Aziraphale was as strong as ever; he would not corrupt the one bright light in his world. So, he started checking his ground.

Aziraphale was the one that tempted him with oysters, and wasn’t that one of Crowley's fondest memories. Aziraphale was the one that had first introduced him to wine (Crowley figuring drinking was okay, introduced Aziraphale to beer immediately after). And so they kept going. Crowley always monitoring, always checking to see if Aziraphale would suddenly have his wings burned black, black, black, completely devoid of light.

It never happened.

Crowley never stopped checking. He was the first tempter after all.

___***___

It took a while for Crowley to understand what he felt for Aziraphale was not only fascination. Crowley, more than anyone else was shocked to find a demon could love.

It was terrible to know someone in love was much more motivated to get one's desire. He was bound to tempt Aziraphale, he knew. He would not be able to contain himself. He was a creature of sin and he _wanted_ with everything in his being.

Crowley could never let Aziraphale know what was inside his heart. He allowed a few tears to fall from his yellow eyes, letting part of the frustration out. Afterwards, he buried his sorrow and his desire deeply within him and kept checking for any signs of Aziraphale falling.

He had nightmares of those bright blue eyes turning red, red, red, so angry and furious. No, Crowley would not allow Aziraphale any harm.

___***___

It was torture to long and long and not be able to fill the longing; to look and desire and be certain he would never have. Crowley would never, ever touch Aziraphale with lust. He made sure of it.

But how it hurt. It reminded him of his fall all over again; of the sorrow and the sadness of such a harsh punishment.

Crowley would take the pain and the suffering and would look Aziraphale in his beautiful kind eyes and would be grateful for having him in his dammed life and would fucking keep going because the alternative was not conceivable.

___ ***___

It was exactly like any other day, there was nothing different from the day before and, Crowley suspected, there would be nothing different from the day after. They were drinking in the back of Aziraphale’s bookshop, Crowley was animatedly going on and on about how tiny and how powerful ants were, his hands were everywhere, as they tended to be when he was drunk.

Aziraphale’s eyes (it was always his forsaken beautiful bright blue eyes, the kindest ones Crowley had ever encountered) were watching him with so much fondness. They twinkled and compressed when Aziraphale smiled brighter. Crowley kept talking; he loved to have Aziraphale's attention.

“You are a marvel, my dear.” Aziraphale said suddenly, catching Crowley off guard “Sometimes I wonder how in the world I managed to be friends with you.” he took a sip from his glass. “I am so very fond of you.”

“Uh..ngh” Crowley said.

Aziraphale smiled softly, drank some more and got confortable in his chair “Sorry, what was I thinking, keep going. You were talking about how very organized ants were.”Azirahale prompted.

“Uh” Crowley said again.

_I love you so much. I love you with everything I am; every damned part._ Crowley despairingly thought _I love you and I could destroy you_.

___***___

The apocalypse did not happen.

Their dinner at the Ritz this time was so much better than any other dinner they had ever had. They were finally, for the first time, alone. They had saved the world and they were still alive and still with each other.

Crowley watched Aziraphale’s eyes tighten with his small grin when their glasses touched. He didn’t remember a time when he had been as happy as in that moment. He wanted to keep himself and Aziraphale forever locked in this small bubble of happiness. 

They were the last ones to leave the Ritz, Aziraphale locking his arm with Crowley’s, he was so carefree it made Crowley’s eyes water. They were laughing and grinning at each other; everything was as it should have been since the begging.

And then, Aziraphale took Crowley’s head between both his hands and kissed him on his open mouth. Crowley’s arms closed around Aziraphale’s waist, bringing the angel closer to him. Aziraphale went willingly, molding his body to fit Crowley’s. They fit so perfectly, so, so perfectly.

“My beautiful and amazing Crowley” Aziraphale whispered “I’ve dreamt about this for so long.”

It was enough to bring Crowley back to reality. He immediately pushed the angel away. _Oh, no. Oh, please, no_ Crowley thought, eyes watering in despair while he stared at Aziraphale’s startled and hurt eyes.

“My- My dear?” Aziraphale asked softly.

Crowley took two steps back, getting further from Aziraphale.

“You need to leave, you need to hide. It might not be to late, maybe the All Mighty has not seen. You need to go.” Crowley said in a hurry, brushing the tears that kept falling from his eyes.

Aziraphale blinked.

“I… what?”

Crowley took two more steps away. He was going to lose Aziraphale.

“You need to go, angel! Now!”

Aziraphale did the exact opposite of what Crowley said and crossed the four steps that separated them. His face was the stubborn mask Aziraphale wore when he wanted to understand a very difficult problem.

“What are you talking about?”

Crowley sobbed, bringing his hands to hide his face. We could not watch it. He was going to be responsible for bringing down the kindest angel in the entire universe.

“You are going to fall.” Crowley whispered, so afraid to bring down the Holy Fury.

“I’m ...what?” Aziraphale’s voice whispered back right close to his ear. “I cannot fall, my love.”

Crowley shuddered and sobbed. He felt lovely hands enveloping him in a hug, felt Aziraphale’s face touch his cheek.

“I’m going to ruin you.” Crowley said, unable to stop his head from laying on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “I temped you.”

Aziraphale’s arms tightened around Crowley, his body expanded and contracted with a sigh. 

“Is this what you really think? That you’ll ruin me?”

Crowley shrugged. “I’m a demon, angel. That’s what I do.”

Aziraphale’s hand came up to Crowley’s head, delicately cradling and bringing their them closer.

“You could not tempt me, my dear. You were always so very respectful.” He kissed Crowley’s head. “I loved you for so long and never, not even once, you tempted me. You cannot. If you had done it, I would have allowed the temptation. You never did. You love me too much to do it.” The last part was said almost silently. Crowley only heard because his ear was very close to Aziraphale’s mouth.

Crowley blinked bringing his head up pulling Aziraphale away enough so that Crowley could look him in the eye.

“How- how can you know that?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale smiled softly.

“I know love, dear, and you are full of it. I will not fall.”

Crowley opened and closed his mouth a few times. He looked down, and then closed his eyes.

“… Can you promise me you won’t fall?” he finally asked.

Aziraphale guided Crowley’s head back to his shoulder, pulling the demon close to him again. 

“Oh, my love.” He said in a sigh “I promise you. I won’t fall because of your love. It is not wrong to love one another. And you, you have so much love to share. Share it with me.”

Crowley looked up, up, up, and prayed of the being that had caused him so much pain. _Please_ , he prayed _Please, let me have it. Please, I promise to take care of him_.

His answer was Aziraphale bringing their mouths together again.

**Author's Note:**

> written for this prompt at the Kink meme:  
> "After their first time ____ (kissing, having sex, indulging in alcohol, whatever), one of them feels they’ve tempted the other. h/c ensues. Whether this happens straight away or after a long bout of pining is up to you."
> 
> https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/616.html?thread=117864#cmt117864


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